Auld Lang Syne

happy 2024 friends

My dear readers, I can only assume you’ve missed me- because I have certainly missed you.

Happiest of New Years: I hope today is free of hangovers and last night was filled with memories made, remembered or not.

As cheesy as some may find the whimsy of January 1st, I love it. I love the mentality of new beginnings and endless possibilities. As I was deciding what I wanted this blog post to be about, I landed on an in/out list; yes, because they’re trendy right now but also because I love the comprehensiveness, the decisiveness of what you stand for and against, and the ease of which you can look back and see what’s changed for you over the year. Also, these lists remind me of the Clique series, which I was very fond of as a kid.

So without further ado:

I struggled with creating an Out list because I’ve been working tirelessly at withholding judgment of things that bring others joy. For example, I find the Uggs resurrection silly, though I think plenty of people play them off as camp, and I can appreciate their functionality. For this list, I landed on things that I’ve found have not been good for me this year, regardless of what they may mean for others.

For aesthetic purposes, some of these things are a little vague and I’d like to elaborate.

Right now I’m learning about finances through Tori Dunlap’s book The Financial Feminist, which discusses the patriarchal withholding of financial knowledge from marginalized groups. I’m learning to be mindful of emotional spending (which obviously still happened during the holidays) and to vote with my dollar. In other words: do I truly want to give my hard-earned money to companies that don’t align with my values? Do I want to bolster companies that spend my money on causes that I oppose? I’m learning that want of wealth is not wrong and money can be empowering. I’m setting goals I never thought possible before. I’ve learned to be more gentle with myself, reminding myself that I’m trying my best always and that my debt does not define me. I feel more in control of my finances and in turn, my life than I ever have before.

Something I’ve always struggled against is my innate jealousy. I’m mindful every day of my urges to compare myself to others or to judge because of envy. I take precautions to avoid jealousy and judgment of others, but of course, it’s not possible to completely silence the thoughts that are just as much a part of me as my humor, wit, and empathy. Repetitive affirmations include: no one is my competition. everyone’s journey looks different. no one has everything that they wish they had. and social media is simply not reality. As I tell myself these things, they feel more and more like the truth.

This year has caused growing pains like never before. I’ve become financially independent and uprooted my entire life, made new friends, tried and given up different creative mediums, read 30 books (!!!! more on that soon), explored my heritage through food and language and family, become an independent mother to Pepper, relearned the importance necessity of therapy, and overall continued to learn the importance of gratitude every day. 2023 has been trying, but it’s brought some of the most wonderful people and experiences.

I assume 2024 will not be any easier, but I’m excited to see what it has in store for me.

Let’s not wait so long to chat again,

Jazzy